Wedding Ceremony Text – Bill Blatt & Rob Caldwell

June 5, 2010

Download the Word document of this text.

WELCOME AND PURPOSE:

We in this room are a community bound together by our relationships to Bill and Rob.  They stand before us today, ready to make a public declaration of the deep, private commitment that they have made to one another. They wish to establish themselves socially and legally in a union of mutual caring and responsibility. With this wedding, each is saying to the other: “I love you and care for you and I know that you love and care for me. And, because I believe we are good for each other, I want to share my life with you.”

MEDITATION ABOUT LOVE:

Days such as today are special because they acknowledge love itself.

Love between two people is a rich combination of enjoyment, support, and respect, each taking responsibility for the other without taking over the life of the other. True, mutual love requires doing right by the other person. It goes beyond mere sentiment, to an active commitment to our own capacity to love: to nurture, to heal, to give, to forgive, and to relate with love toward one another. This kind of behavior will result in bringing out the best in yourself as you bring out the best in your loved one. This is the highest form of love.

DECLARATION OF INTENT:

Today you are publicly expressing your love and commitment to each other. I know of no greater human experience than two people dedicated to being companions for life, and I congratulate you for this step. You are performing an act of faith, by taking a stand for hope, believing in yourself and believing in each other. Yet to last, your union must be a consecration of each to the other, and of both to the wider community of which you are a part.

APPRECIATION FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS:

Today, Bill and Rob are especially grateful to you who have made a special place for them in your lives by being here today to help them celebrate their marriage.  The ideals, the understanding, and the mutual respect they bring to this union have roots in the love, friendship, and guidance they have received from others.

For the families of Bill and Rob, this is a special day in your lives. Their union marks a new chapter in your family histories, because it joins your two families together.

Bill and Rob’s friends form another family, a chosen family. Their friends also travel with them through life, sharing hopes, joys, and sorrows. And now, you will witness and confirm the primacy of their relationship with each other.

To honor those among Bill and Rob’s family members and friends who could not present today, let us take a moment of reflection to acknowledge their presence in spirit.

This is a moment of celebration. Let it also be a moment of dedication.  A marriage of two people needs the love, nurturing, and support of a network of friends and family. On this day, I ask you not only to be friends of Bill and friends of Rob, but friends of Bill and Rob together, friends of the relationship.

May Bill and Rob always know that when they pledged themselves to each other before us, they were surrounded not by mere spectators, but by the sincere and active support of their family and friends. Will you, the families and friends of Bill and Rob, pledge to give them your support, your love, and your understanding as they work to build a happy and enduring union? If so, please say, “We will.”

ETHICAL MEANINGS:

Jamie Jacobs will now do a reading about the ethical meaning of this marriage.

Jamie: Though all of us here would like to grant Bill and Rob the gift of happiness, it is not ours to give.  Happiness and fulfillment will come to them in the building of their union. This union will not be made here by the words we say today, or by this ceremony. We can only recognize the commitments undertaken and celebrate promises made.

Bill and Rob, since your meeting, you have come to know, respect, and love each other. Only you two can make your marriage a living thing. You will begin each day with a choice: To express caring, or to be silent; To reveal love, or to be busy; To acknowledge respect, or to turn away; To take joy from each other, or to nurture bitterness. And through these daily choices you will renew the vows you make today.

You will shape the possibilities for each other, by allowing the other to be an individual with emotions and talents that are singular, and by supporting each other’s dreams and goals. When you act toward one another from a place of love and caring, when you consider each other’s feelings, integrity, and intentions, and when you keep yourselves well acquainted with laughter and joy, then each of you will have the strength upon which you both can depend.

So it is that you have come together, ready to give of yourself and to accept each other, valuing each other’s uniqueness, prepared to work together and to trust one another. In the years to come, as you remember this day, beyond the words, beyond even the expressions of joy and encouragement from friends and family, remember that which is fundamental about your hour of union: that you love, respect, and honor each other, and you are committed to sharing equally in both the trials and triumphs of your life together.

You may ask what is this love we here affirm, and I answer, it is a covenant you make, one with the other, a covenant born of commitment to each other’s well being and growth and commitment to your relationship itself, allowing it the possibility of change and growth.

VOWS

To Bill: Bill, do you promise to work with Rob to build your love, to speak openly and honestly to him, to listen to him, to maintain the respect that has grown between you, and to love and cherish him as your husband and partner for as long as you both shall live?  [Bill answers “I do.”]

To Rob: Rob, do you promise to work with Bill to build your love, to speak openly and honestly to him, to listen to him, to maintain the respect that has grown between you, and to love and cherish him as your husband and partner for as long as you both shall live? [Rob answers “I do.”]

To Bill:  Please repeat after me: I, Bill, take you, Rob as my husband, respecting your ideals and ambition, encouraging your freedom to grow, and remembering that the most important lessons are to be learned from each other. I promise to respect you, to care for you, and to grow with you, through good times and hard times, as your friend, companion and partner, giving the best that I can to fulfill our lives together.

To Rob:  Please repeat after me: I, Rob, take you, Bill as my husband, respecting your ideals and ambition, encouraging your freedom to grow, and remembering that the most important lessons are to be learned from each other. I promise to respect you, to care for you, and to grow with you, through good times and hard times, as your friend, companion and partner, giving the best that I can to fulfill our lives together.

EXCHANGE OF RINGS

You give each other rings to remind you that your marriage, like a ring, continues without ending. May your marriage be precious and eternally loving.

To Bill:  Please repeat after me: I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, and with all that I have, and with all that I am, I join my life to yours.

To Rob:  Please repeat after me: I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, and with all that I have, and with all that I am, I join my life to yours.

PRONOUNCEMENT

May you go forth together now in the spirit of adventure,

To grow together in understanding, helpfulness and love,

So that your union may enrich your lives and the lives of

All that you touch in the future.

Bill and Rob, having made your vows to one another and exchanged rings to symbolize your union before family and friends, I now pronounce you married.

You may kiss.

CONCLUSION

To conclude the ceremony, Bill and Rob will now break glasses in the Jewish tradition. Glass symbolizes the love and relationship of the couple and is fragile, so it must be cared for. A broken Jewish wedding glass is forever changed. Likewise, this couple is forever changed by the marriage and takes on a new form. May your happiness be as plentiful as the shards of glass.